Whats Better Than A Hemorrhoid Donut?

Why, Chris' new life vest of course!
A while back, I had posted about Little Miss Chris' disturbing habit of pond diving. While entertaining and unusual, it is still very frightening to see her dive under the water and stay submerged for way longer than even I can hold my breath. What she is doing down there under the water, is finding sunken treasure. Limbs and roots, and tug, tug, tugging until she can get it pulled up and surfaces with it. Chris is a die hard, she doesn't give up easily when it comes to sticks. So I had these horrible visions of her staying with it till she got it, or didn't get it and drowned her silly self. I honestly believe she would do just that too, if the root didn't give in to her demands to come up to the surface with her. Ive watched her tug at roots before, and she always wins. I couldn't see her giving up the fight just to breath.

Barbara, a friend of Chris' and mine, saw the post, and while entertained as well, understood my dire stress about her odd behavior, and thoughtfully sent Chris a dogie life vest.
I wasn't sure the vest was going to be as exciting for Chris as it was for me, she is a weirdo, and not inclined to like wearing anything. I bought her boots a few years ago when we were in Utah so she could run in the snow and ice without cutting her paws, she hated them, and refused to walk in them. She stood there looking like a cat with tape stuck on its paws.
Lifting first one foot and then another, trying to flip the offending foot wear off her feet. Too, Id bought her a little coat once, just cause I thought she would look cute in it.
She flopped down on the ground when I put it on her and refused to move. So with that in mind, I took things a little slow with the vest. I left it laying around for about a week, occasionally picking it up and making some exclamation about it in Chris' direction, just to show her it was harmless, and Oh so stylish. While she appeared interested, she was still rather unimpressed. One look, and she'd walk away and flop down, eyeing me suspiciously.
No doubt the mere shape of it had brought back memories of the trauma Id inflicted on her in expecting her to wear the coat.

So last Sunday was Easter, and a beautiful day to take the dogs out for a swim and a little run in the woods. Perfect time to try out the vest.
All the dogs were running around the yard, having a grand ole time and I asked who wanted to go to the pond. All heads popped up and looked at me. POND!!?? Yeaaaaaaa! Well at the mere mention of the pond, all I saw was assholes and elbows, everyone taking off in the general direction of the pond.
Whoa guys! I shouted at the disappearing back ends of 6 dogs. Wait a minuet! Look what Ive got! Everyone came back to see what I had. Oh, I made a big event of it. I showed it to each dog, laying it on their backs and telling them all how sporty they looked in it. And OH Hank! Yellow is so your color! Chris, who was immediately suspicious, stood just outside the circle of dogs I was wading through, looking rather distrusting. I called her to me and the ears went down, the tail went down, and she thought about pretending as if she hadn't heard me, but new better when she and I locked eyes.
She slunk up to me, like she was expecting to be in trouble. I showed it to her, she gave me a look that clearly said she'd seen it already and still was not impressed by its bright yellow color, and what were all those straps hanging off it. Surely, it must be some strange torture devise, a straight jacket for dogs?
With a little more pushing and shoving from the other dogs, cause I was using my little girl voice and making such a big deal of it that everyone wanted to wear it, Chris just couldnt stand it anymore, and presented herself to be included in the fashion show.

I took her collar off, and laid the vest across her back. Much to my surprise, she stood there looking rather triumphant, sneering at the other dogs as if she were the chosen one. Ha! My devious plan had worked! She was pretty tickled to parade around with it and show off to everyone, and oh yes Chris! Yellow is your color too!

I said lets head out to the pond, and fluffy butts became my scenery.

I got to the pond a little slower than the dogs did, I spect theres some thing to be said for having 4 legs instead of only 2. And this was what I saw as I got there.

Chris had wasted no time in trying out the new vest and had plunged right in searching the depths of the pond for just the right stick. She was a bit confused when she surfaced.
I could see her mind ticking, trying to figure out why she couldnt dive. She was confused, but not deterred.




I searched around the pond for a stick Chris would think worthy, she likes her a big stick, no puiny ones for her! And found what I thought would be an acceptable one to toss out in the water for her and hopfully dissuade her from continuing her pond bottom forays. Apparently, it was not worthy, as this is where it ended up, alone, discarded, and unworthy,

and Chris dove down, fighting the boyant vest all the way down, to come up with a more acceptable prize.

Only to have it stolen from her as she reached shore with it. Bear is a lazy stick theif. He will swim out, let Chris get the stick, and swim back to shore in front of her so he can steal her prize. I wish she'd kick his butt for doing this, but I think she lets him have it just so she can go back out and get another one.




Some times he doesnt even bother to swim out, and just waits on shore for her to get back with the stick, and then steals it.


And then there are those extra special sickle shaped logs she unearths from the murky depths that she wont let him have under any circumstances.


And she will not let anyone within close proximity once she gets it on shore,
and also says in no uncertin terms, that it would be best to leave her and her precious alone.

She will entertain herself for a little while,



and when she cant get anyone to play with her or toss the stick for her, she tries to put the whodo voodo Border Collie eye on the stick, and use mental telepathy to magically will the stick through the air.

When that doesnt work, and all else fails,

its time to head for the creek.
(fun at the creek pics to follow shortly)