Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The scent, and a Woman

This is to funny not to share. Last week, I made a notation in the Movie Maybe post about my son when he came out of the shower smelling....well, less than pleasant from splashing cheap cologne on himself. Well, this past weekend, I aimed to correct that. I had a hard time sitting next to him through the whole drive to and from the movie, and we don't even want to recall the torture for me of how it was sitting next to him throughout the whole movie. Needless to say, I didn't eat my popcorn, I just kept my face buried in it, happy to and much more preferable, inhaling the smell of buttered popcorn as opposed to that stink he had on him. Drinking my soda was a bit difficult trying to get the straw around the popcorn bag, so I just poked a hole in the bag and pushed the straw through the bag and I managed. (just kidding) But don't think the thought didn't cross my mind!
Anyway, the next day I threw that bottle of Aqua Velva away, far, far away, and then this past weekend I took Kyle to the store to give him a lesson in "What Women Like." We smelled cologne after cologne, to the point where Id thought I was going to have to burn the smells out of my nostrils with a lighted match. What the hell is wrong with just smelling clean? Why all the erotic names with exotic odors? What an assault to the senses!
Kyle likes some of the scents that Axe makes, and has body wash, (what ever happened to just calling soap, soap?)and deodorant made by Axe, so after we ran out of colognes to permanently damage our ole factory senses with, we then found and concentrated our efforts on smelling men's body sprays. I laughed when I saw that men now have "Body spray" like women! How sissy is that!? Perfume for men! I had a good time ribbing him about that! At any rate, we sampled, (yes we are some of those folks that spray scent in the air before we buy it, sorry but I'm not buying "Chaps" cologne before smelling it.) Just the name evokes ideas of dirty smelly leather cowboy chaps after a weekend of roping and branding and the long haul riding the drags behind a hundred plus head of cattle. I'm not paying 18.50 to have my son smelling like that!
Anyway, he was jazzed to find and get to sample the newest "body spray" made by Axe called Dark Temptation. I have seen the TV commercials on this, and if you have too, they are kind of humorous. It is suppose to smell like chocolate. What girl doesn't enjoy the sweet smell of chocolate!?
As it turned out, It has a light chocolaty odor to it, but its light and smells pretty good. He liked it, I could live with it, and it was only 5.00 dollars.
When we got to the register to pay for our purchases, the check out boy, and I do mean boy, he couldn't have been a day over 17 yrs old. Well, he picked up the Axe, and looked at it and said to Kyle and I: "Ive been meaning to check this out, do you like the smell?" I told him I thought it was nice, and then laughed, thinking about the TV commercial, and added: "it smells so yummy, I would be tempted to bite a man on the ass that was wearing the stuff myself!"
(thats one of the things that happens to the chocolate man in the TV commercial)
Well, that must have made some kind of impression on the 17 year old cashier, and his equally young friend the bag boy, as they both gave each other that all knowing smile, like hey! We gotta get us some of that if its gonna make girls want to bite us on the butt!
Well, day before yesterday, I had to stop in that same store for a few things, and guess who got to ring me up? I recognized the scent immediately, as my son has liberally sprayed himself daily since getting his can O girls are gonna bite me on the butt body spray, and low and behold, little check out Chucky and Billy the bag boy are as chocolaty odoriferous as can be! I guess they believed me and decided they wanted to be eaten alive by the girls too! As I walked out of the store, I just couldn't help but giggle.
As a side note, I asked Kyle if he has noticed a difference in the girls approach to him at school since wearing the "body spray"
He told me, and I quote, " One threatened to hit me with her belt and another said she wanted to sit on me and squish me into my seat."
The scent obviously turns young teen aged girls into vicious bullies, and old ladies into dirty old hags that like to say outrageous and totally uncalled for way to explicit things young boys.
I feel so ashamed...

No comments: